Shot Through The Heart And You're To Blame

It was love at first sight when Tammy and Gray met that day at the shooting range. Within hours they’d disappeared into the wilderness, and all anyone heard for hours were rounds and rounds of ammunition being fired. Tammy only pretended to need steadying; she was actually a much better shot.



















Gray still appreciates a good old gun. He added a scabbard to his repertoire the same year he picked up the nifty scarf/ascot technique shown here—he might live in a trailer, but that doesn’t keep him from lookin’ like a world traveler. He’s basically a nice guy, but doesn’t like to be caught off guard, that’s all.




















Tammy has upgraded her guns with the years, and thinks concealed weapons are for sissies. The local Kmart won’t let her in any more, and she’s about to give them a piece of her mind, then head on over to Wal-mart to try her luck. She is the NRA.

Still Greatful After All These Years

When Chad met




















Brad, they knew it was a fan-match made in heaven. They became total Deadheads, devoting their entire lives to it. They quit only after…well, they still can’t bear to talk about it, except to say that without Jerry, their lives will never be the same, after which they usually dissolve into tears and end up hugging each other in a manly way.















Now they attempt to relive the glory years, seeing no other options, and liking no other bands. Here they are last week having a sublime virtual reality experience—they’re watching the 5/8/77 concert at Cornell University, which is where they first met. Here’s to the old times, guys!

YMCA

It started out so innocently, that magical summer that pulled the four of them together. Pauly, with his corkscrew curl and prominent bulge, was instantly sucked in by the languid and aloof Philip the minute they met. Meanwhile, Tommy, who tried really hard to act like a straight guy, couldn’t restrain his warmth for Tristan. What fun they had!















When a few more years elapsed, the four threw whatever caution they had left to the wind and came out of the closet. They still get together a few times a year to have tea parties and talk about the old times. That’s Philip in the tiara, with Pauly to his left (hands cradling that special prize). Tristan is in the pink floral gown, and Tommy finally embraced lavender as a color choice. Good thing this photo was taken before those apple slices got brown, because Philip won’t eat anything that’s not fresh.

Give A Hoot

No one thought Janice or Janine would ever become real musicians, but they were so cute walking around town in their matching outfits. And Janine had some actual talent…not a lot, but still.




















Fact is, people are suckers for anything two of a kind, quality be damned, and the ladies landed a job with one of the better European orchestras. They share an apartment to cut down on expenses, and make a pretty good salary—at least enough so that they can still afford matching outfits, a slew of instruments, and indulging in their newest fun hobby: making the floor, ceiling and walls all match. These girls are a whole lot of good, clean fun, but you’re probably glad they don’t live in your neighborhood.

Never Gonna Give You Up

Back in the mid-70s, his freshly-earned liberal arts degree tossed in the back of his VW van along with a knapsack and a tent, young Benjamin (“Scooby-Doobie” to his close friends) had only a few things on his mind: getting laid, getting high, and maybe getting a job. Someday.




















The only thing that’s really changed about Benjamin (now “Ben” to his close friends) is his smoking methodology—oh, right, and his broken nose, and the nickname. He’s still got his van, the degree (which might as well still be fresh, unused as it is), the knapsack, the tent and the really short term memory. He is a true example of sticking to one’s guns, never giving up the dream, and having been lucky enough to meet his real true love at an early age.

Don't Just Sit There

Harvey was so happy with his hula hoop. He’d go sit under that tree, drink about eight or nine beers, then hula until the sun went down. No one else seemed to understand that, and he figured he’d always be alone, until he won the love lottery and met




















Eleanor, who loved nothing more than beer-filled hula-hooping beneath the very same tree. This is proof that couples did sometimes manage to find each other without the help of eHarmony or Match.com. And they stayed together.




















Although these days Harvey’s a little more about looking at the water. Eleanor, on the other hand, has only grown more enthusiastic about her hula hooping over the years.




















She gave up the booze after her third trip to the Betty Ford Clinic, and feels more vital than ever. She’ll be featured in the Senior Olympics next year!

Rebel, Rebel

It was another typical dustbowl kind of day for Candy, and she decided to blow off steam via her usual take on drinking and driving, which had made her locally famous and pregnant twice before the end of ninth grade.












Then, through the mist, he emerged like a dream. Their paths crossed, like two un-driven ships in the night, and that would have been the end of it, except that Tad was so mesmerized, he got back in his car and followed Candy to her favorite juke joint.















And here are Tad and Candy today, still just a couple of hard-asses out having fun. When I told them they should have been more careful on the fateful day they met, this was their instantaneous reaction.