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Even when Danielle and Elise were babies, it was clear that some favoritism was going on. Danielle almost always had big scabs like this on her head and/or scrapes and bruises elsewhere because Mom was so busy doting on Elise that she never noticed Danielle’s tumbles and falls until it was too late. Danielle was clearly displeased with the inequality. Mom didn’t even kiss it and make it better.
And when Mom’s picked a favorite, it pretty much lasts forever. But siblings can and will have their own brand of justice. That’s why, as loved and pampered as she might still be, Elise now has a broken arm. Danielle is laughing about it because she’s the one who broke it. She's also learned: you’re never too young for revenge. By the time she’s in 10th grade, Danielle will have her own apartment. Elise will live with Mom until she’s in her late 40s.
Oh, the way the ladies used to line up to get a glimpse of this quartet. That’s Eric on top; his dark skin, muscular thighs and long eyelashes made him very popular with the ladies. The lovely lad in the white belted suit is Merle, whose massive biceps and sassy wifebeaters had women for miles around in his thrall. Kneeling, with a hint of the crotch-flash move that made him famous at the time, is Donny. And Kenny, trying as usual not to look stocky, is the fourth and maybe the most-loved member of this hot pile-up of fun.
They’re still hanging out together and enjoying the good times, bless their sexy hearts. Donny, on the far left, still flirts with the idea of a crotch-flash; so much so that he talked the others into joining him at a nudist colony. That’s Eric beside him, still quite the ladies’ man—he’s been cheating on his high school girlfriend for almost fifty years now. Then there’s Merle, whose biceps and breasts suffered a little after he gave up exercising. He only wears socks with sandals when his wife’s not around. And Kenny’s still trying not to look stocky. Good luck, dude! Ladies: any of these guys will still whip it out for you.
The elder two Brody brothers, Bobby and Barry, liked having their picture taken. Barry in particular thought he was a pretty handsome guy who should be looked at and admired. But the two younger brothers, Benny and Brian, were always hamming it up and ruining the shots. Well, the shots that Mrs. Betty Brody did not ruin herself with her intrusive shadow.
And here are the Brodys at a family reunion last summer. Bobby, who now goes by "Big Bob," is still a jovial guy who likes having his picture taken. Barry’s just glad he hasn’t gone bald yet. Brian learned to smile for the camera instead of scowling. But Benny is still a cut-up. There are probably only three photos of him that don’t show his tongue, and one is his driver’s license.
Lauretta never liked bobbing for apples, especially not at all-girl slumber parties. Her friends may have thought they were too old for trick-or-treating, but Lauretta would have preferred to be out getting free candy. She could already tell Pam was going to freeze her bra again, and probably try to make her pee in her sleep with the old hot water trick.
Lauretta would now prefer to return to her slumber party years, and dresses accordingly most of the time. She tries to be a good sport and to do her part to make Halloween fun, but the thing is, she’s one of those people who hands out apples, and today’s kids hate them just as much as she used to.
Back in the day there was nothing Meg loved like a rousing backyard barbecue. Hell, with six kids to raise and a husband who looked like Prince Charles, she didn’t have a lot to smile about, and used pretty much any family occasion as an excuse to get tanked.
And here’s Meg yesterday morning, spending a little down time with a few of her kids. She still loves a good buzz, and why shouldn’t she? “I’m what the real Mrs. Brady would have looked like,” she sometimes says near the end of the evening, then does a very lame Florence Henderson impression. After she passes out, her kids joke that she looks more like Alice.
